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The year is 1884. It's April and the Clark family has
gathered for the spring interment of their father. He
died in January and the atmosphere is less somber now
that three months have passed. His daughters and their
husbands are visiting in the sitting room of the Clark
mansion...
"Oh, Richard," complained Christine. "You're not
going to bore everyone with that, are you?"
"Maybe you think it's boring," replied her husband
as he opened a long, flat box on the coffee table.
"Let's see what the others think."
"This is your get-rich-quick scheme we've heard so
much about?" asked Ronald.
"I'm not promising anything, but I think it has merit."
"What is it?" asked Caroline.
"It's a game I think I might be able to market."
"He has wasted more time on this thing," said Christine.
"You play it on this board?" asked Virginia, graciously
showing some interest.
"That's right. It's like a large checkerboard, with
more squares. The game consists of 200 of these little
wooden tiles, each with a letter of the alphabet on it.
You put them together on the board to form words."
"Let's humor him," suggested his wife, picking out
some of the letters. "Richard, you can lead us into the
poor house, but I'll always love you."
"Give it a chance," begged the reckless husband. "Now,
look. Each tile has a tiny number in the corner. The
number indicates the value of the letter and varies
according to how frequently the letter appears in the
English language. E is the most commonly used letter, so
it only has a value of 1. Z is the least common and has
a value of 25. We put all the letters in a box, shake it
up, and everyone draws out ten of them. Then we take
turns trying to string together a word. Here... I can
make MOTHER."
He laid down the six letters.
"The M is worth 8, the O 2, the T 3, the H 10, the E 1,
and the R 3. That adds up to 27. So I record that and
pick up 6 more letters, and the next person takes their
turn. You try to put together the most valuable word you
can. And now that I've made the first move, you have to
incorporate one of my letters into your word and count its
value."
"So I can use your O?" asked Christine.
"That's right."
"Okay," said his wife, "I've got an F, and another O, and
an L, an I, an S, and an H. That spells FOOLISH."
"That's worth 32," said Richard, recording her score.
"Very good. Now pick up six more letters."
"And I've got an N," said Caroline, "and a U, and your T.
That spells NUT. Wait, I've got an S. Let's make it NUTS."
"You can't do that," explained Richard. "You're running up
against the F and the O. You have to form a word every way.
If FU and OS were words, you could do it."
"O-kay... I've got an R, and the U, Christine's I, and my
N." That spells RUIN."
"That's only worth 10. But you're getting the idea."
"I've got a B," said Virginia, "an O, Richard's R, an I,
an N, and a G. That spells BORING."
"23," said the inventor and scorekeeper. "Now I'll put an
S in front of MOTHER and we've got SMOTHER." I get all the
points from MOTHER plus 3 points for the S."
"I'll use that H from FOOLISH," said Christine, "and an
O, a P, an E, an L, another E, and two S's. That spells
HOPELESS."
"Good show: 31. That gives you 63 altogether."
"And I've got an A, and I'll use one of those S's, and
I've got an I, an N, another I, another N, and an E,"
offered Caroline. "That spells ASININE."
"16. You've got 26 now."
"If I had a V, I could make POVERTY," said Virginia.
"If the U were open, you could make PENURY," suggested
Caroline.
"If I had another G, I could make MORTGAGE," remarked
Christine. "Or, over here I could make BEGGAR."
"How much would HAREBRAINED be worth?" asked Clifford,
looking on.
"Or how about STARVATION?" added Caroline.
"Or DESPERATE?" wondered Ronald.
"That's enough!" exclaimed Richard. "I'm not letting
you play my game."
"Who would want to play it?" declared Caroline
mercilessly. "Richard, you're never going to sell that.
You've got a wife to look out for, and a child on the way.
Keep your feet on the ground."
"O-kay... o-o-o-kay. That does it. I've embarrassed
myself enough over this." Richard swept the elements of
the game into their box and pitched the whole into the fire.
"It was just getting good!" objected Christine.
"Give the man credit" was Clifford's entreaty as he lit
another cigar. "He's enterprising."
"I thought it looked promising," Richard eulogized over
his late creation. "Chess and checkers have been around for
centuries. Isn't it time someone came up with another game?"
"If there were other games to be invented, someone
probably would have thought of them by now," countered
Caroline. "Richard, stop trying to carve out a place in
history. It's juvenile."
"And if you are going to invent a game, make sure it's
entertaining," added Virginia. "I think that's an
unavoidable prerequisite."
"Caroline, I've hardly been thinking about a place in
history," said Richard. "You say I should think of my wife
and children, and I am. Wouldn't I like to buy her a big
house and treat her to some luxury. Look at what she's
grown up with."
"Aw-w-w, Richard," said his wife affectedly. "You know
it's not those things that matter to me. And we don't live
far away. When I want to enjoy the good life, I just have
to come back here."
"What harm does it do to spend some extra time at
something like that?" posed Ronald. "He's got a good job."
"Tell him that," replied Caroline. "He's always
complaining about it."
"Richard, you're not doing that badly," Clifford
affirmed. "People can go a long way in the bank. Be patient.
You can't start out as vice-president."
"Well... Maybe I find finance kind of boring."
"Ri-chard!" exclaimed his wife.
"My heart just missed a beat," said Virginia, laughing
slightly and catching her breath. "Don't do that, Richard."
"You'd like to have a place like this," said Caroline
vehemently. "Our father worked hard to bring it about.
Maybe sometimes he was bored, but he put up with it."
"Okay, okay," said Richard. "No more harebrained schemes.
I'll be as dull as you want."
"Thank you," replied his wife with great relief. "That's
my Richard."
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